Ahh yes. The missing element that has been holding back the Russian military efforts: a fat old man who pretends to be tough on camera.
I mean since Prigo's gone they have a lack of that.
Seagal also played a cook once, the analogy checks out
My favorite Steven Seagal story is that he'd tell people that when he was living in Japan he had to DEFEND his father-in-law's dojo from YAKUZA GANGSTERS. His ex wife responded to that by saying it was total bullshit and all he did was yell at some drunk dudes who might not even been Yakuza. Pathological liar. Move over failsons. We've got failsons-in-law now.
Maybe he wasn't lying, he's just delusional and actually thought he was defending the dojo from yakuza members
My "favorite" Steven Seagal story is that time he drove a tank through somebody's house and killed their dog while LARPing as a cop
Easy - Success: President Putin, I am ready. Send me to the frontline.
Legendary - Failure: Wait, what?
"Mr. Putin is helping me find my relevance."
The Expendibles
:kelly:
Russia’s finally unleashing their secret weapon. Ukraine is doomed.
The 9th Dan Grandmaster of Bullshido strikes again
Special Military Operation, is the Steven Seagal, mega blockbuster hit movie, where he showed the world, that 70 year old washed up fake martial artists can get detonated by a Ukrainian drone just like an 18 year old.
Judo flip! Judo roll! Judo chop!
PSA: it's pronounced sea-gull, like the bird that steals your French fries on the beach. He didn't like it so he started pronouncing it different.
Under Seige 3: Pokrovsk.
The main scene I remember from under siege is the woman jumping out of the cake.
well im sorry to hear that, because im gonna snatch every ukrainian birthday
Movie idea: A rag tag trio, consisting of Segal, Kadyrov, and the Ghost of Prigo are sent to the frontline in Ukraine. Through a comical prank by Putin, all three are assigned equal positions in a brigade of three. The film follows these three soldiers as they navigate a new world and fall into a slapstick routine none of them were aware of creating. Upon being seen by a local villager, they realized that their banter would work well as a podcast. How will these soldiers balance their duty to their country, their narcissism, and the technical difficulties of recording high quality audio in the field?
Im surprised we haven't gotten a dramedy about war reporters doing podcasting from the field.
"OK everyone, this episode is sponsored by HOLY SHIT WHAT WAS THAT!?!?
.....well, uhh....
....THAT just happened."
Cue laugh track, everybody claps.
Steven Segal single handedly conquers all of Europe with his love taps
Too bad, Gene LeBell is already gone, or he could just choke out Seagal again.
I didn't know Randy was a Russia boy! That's fucky!
He should become part of a shahed squad. That sounds about his speed
Even if his reasons are probably/definitely far from perfect, unintentionally based.
based is when you sacrifice your life for the Russian oligarchs
Sorry, we have different definitions of based. Ukraine and NATO bad doesn't imply Russia good. The war in Ukraine is an imperialist war fought between the capitalist elites of one country vs the capitalist elites of its antagonistic block. You'd be a fool not to dodge the draft.
"Imperialism is when you invade a country next to you."
where did lenin say that territorial expansion is not imperialism if it's with bordering countries?
Imperialism is a higher stage of capitalism in which the means of production of the country have concentrated into the hands of a few, there's no longer competition in the main private sectors of the economy, and the economy has financialized. Capitalists don't live off the profits of the companies anymore, they live off stock trading and investment funds. The high rate of development of local industry leads capitalist firms to exporting their capital to other countries to expand the markets and the production and to abuse the cheap resources and labor elsewhere. Please explain me how this situation doesn't describe Russia or most NATO countries.
Imperialist war is when a war is fought between countries in the stage of imperialism for imperialist reasons.
Are we going to pretend that imperialism only exists in this specific and convenient definition that you make and did not exist before industrialization and the financialization of economies, or that the Russian entry into this war was for "imperialist" reasons or that Russia is exploiting its new territories (which have always had indigenous Russians as the main population base) in the model (of "expanding markets and abusing cheap resources/labor") you describe, rather than painstakingly taking effort to integrate and develop the regions that Ukraine and the collective west has been shelling for a decade?
There is a clear difference between the imperialist warmongering of the western nations, and this war of defense by Russia, capitalist as it may be- a war to defend their country from being further encircled, threatened, and carved up, and to protect the legitimate human rights of the indigenous Russo-Ukranians. The entire majority of the world can see it, but somehow you- by the looks of your recent comment history, a Spaniard (white west European, whose imperialist heyday it should be noted fell outside of the definitions of imperialism as you describe it) conveniently do not. I'd recommend taking a look at your own biases, because you're clearly Euro-brained and it's not a good look.
Are we going to pretend that imperialism only exists in this specific and convenient definition
They literally sent me Lenin, I'm abiding to Lenin's definition of imperialism on "Imperialism: higher stage of capitalism".
painstakingly taking effort to integrate and develop the regions that Ukraine and the collective west has been shelling for a decade?
Forgive me for not believing Putin's intent here is humanitarian development of western-liberalism-affected regions with Russian majority.
There is a clear difference between the imperialist warmongering of the western nations, and this war of defense by Russia
Yeah, NATO is objectively worse, there's no arguing that
a war to defend their country from being further encircled, threatened, and carved up
All of that is true. The former Warsaw pact has seen color revolution after color revolution (what a coincidence that similar protests like the Occupy Movement in the US or the 15M in Spain don't produce any results). That doesn't invalidate anything of what I'm saying, it's still warmongering between advanced capitalist states for geopolitical control. Forgive me for not praising Steven fucking Seagal for wanting to give his life for the well-being of Russian oligarchic companies.
and to protect the legitimate human rights of the indigenous Russo-Ukranians
Famous defender of human rights capitalist Russia, not at all constantly passing laws against minorities (whether women, queer, or national minorities like central-asians), and on a downwards spiral towards fascism (sadly like the rest of Europe).
Your last paragraph is a tirade calling me basically an eurolib and linking me to the Spanish empire (like, seriously, wtf) for not wanting to defend the modern Russian capitalist regime. Believe it or not, there are people on the left who don't critically support Russia for being 90% Hitler defending itself from the 99% Hitler that NATO is.
I saw Russian bombs fall from the window of my own house
I hope to God that they win so that the collective West gets socked in the face,I couldn't give less of a fuck about if they're imperialist or not
Maybe NATO exists in the background to you people in the heart of the empire,but all we have over here, on the absolute frontier of it, it's warnings that stray drones might fall on us, jets whizzing overhead and the quiet nighttime concert of booms and the brief flashes of explosions that the poor people that just happen to live on the other side of a river have to live with because of the games played by people an ocean away
Russia winning will finally put an end to this atrocity,and I couldn't care less if they're not the USSR
The more this circus goes on,the more people die and the possibility of it coming from the distance to my own house directly increases
Fuck the architects of this atrocity and fuck the puppets that rule our nations who treat us people on the border like acceptable losses
Proof attached
I took this photo one year ago,when the first drone attacks began,with my own phone,from my balcony
(PS:I cropped it so that it shouldn't count for self dox, please tell me if that is enough or I should delete it)
If you don't wanna risk doxxing, I'd delete. You don't need to prove anything, this is a safe space and I believe you
In all honesty I just wanted to post the photo
Not everyday you get a shot like this,even if it was really scary when it happened
Going by this logic, Iran, Afghanistan, Iraq and many many other Global South countries all deserve to be victims of imperialism because they are all capitalist countries and not nearly as progressive as the Western countries who have had several decades of prosperity and allowed to develop in peace without being threatened by foreign powers.
Or is it that only countries that cannot fight back against the empire “deserve” critical support because they are no threat to the imperial core itself?
If you really want to know how fucked Russia was by imperialism, look no further than the Shock Therapy in the 1990s. The economic and societal devastation isn’t something that you can recover in a short few decades. You cannot name a single country that has ever recovered from neoliberal shock doctrine over the past 50 years. Millions of excess death in Russia ever since the 1990s, leading to a steady pace of population decline that it has no hope of recovering. No wonder Russia is extremely concerned about being surrounded by a NATO-backed Ukraine and NATO itself that is infested by descendants of the Nazis after the war.
The Ukraine war really is a litmus test for Western leftists. The stark contrast between how socialists and communists in Western countries perceive the Russia-Ukraine war versus the rest of the Global South really paints a striking picture of how many Western left either has no understanding of Lenin’s imperialism, or choose to interpret in their own ways that conveniently suits the neo-colonial agenda of Western imperialism extracting surplus values from the Global South.
Heartwarming: once /c/news badposter now fully understands the core of international geopolitics
Hexbear has many good teachers I guess
The war in Ukraine is an imperialist war fought between the capitalist elites of one country vs the capitalist elites of its antagonistic bloc
It's an inter-capitalist war, sure, but it's not an imperialist war- at least, Russia is not the imperialist faction. But whatever I could say you've already seen already. We definitely have different versions of based to say the least
Weird support but okay
Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.
No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer
Vaush posts go in the_dunk_tank
Dunk posts in general go in the_dunk_tank, not here
Don't post low-hanging fruit here after it gets removed from the_dunk_tank
