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Wtf, it's some kind of magical elixir you're supposed to dribble directly onto your dick data-laughing

Every detail about this ad is so fucking funny, from the roaring wolfman to the text.

AliExpress is a Wild West of shady medical products like these. Why does Elon Musk spend tens of thousands on hair plugs when he could buy a Chinese remedy that would give him a full mane of hair in a week for 10 bucks

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[-] Bureaucrat@hexbear.net 55 points 11 months ago

Me when I take this

[-] Bureaucrat@hexbear.net 55 points 11 months ago

"Incredibly dubious" can we leave the editorializing out of this? Just the facts please

[-] doublepepperoni@hexbear.net 44 points 11 months ago

I'm sorry I besmirched the reputation of the good folks behind ENLARGE PENIS 😔

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[-] buh@hexbear.net 35 points 11 months ago

It definitely works, but only for werewolves

[-] peppersky@hexbear.net 42 points 11 months ago

38 centimeters in two hours seems incredibly painful

[-] OprahsedCreature@lemmy.ml 22 points 11 months ago

Not just for the grower. Imagine being so porn-brained that this seems reasonable.

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[-] Weedian@hexbear.net 15 points 11 months ago

my dick split open and locusts flew out!

[-] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 35 points 11 months ago

Bloody hell, that lens flare i-cant: "And to you Frodo Baggins, I give the light of Eärendil our most beloved star. May it be a-Wait, what are you doing? NO! THAT'S NOT WHAT IT'S FOR!"

This is like the perfect PPB equivalent to drop on anyone whose solutions are more deregulation

[-] doublepepperoni@hexbear.net 22 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

159 added to cart

THE FREE MARKET HAS SPOKEN

spoilerIt's actually pretty depressing

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[-] someone@hexbear.net 33 points 11 months ago

38cm? Why would I want to downgrade?

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 32 points 11 months ago

I'm gonna buy some and use it to water my plants, let's see what happens.

[-] doublepepperoni@hexbear.net 30 points 11 months ago

Experiment idea: Buy this as well as the hair growth and boob growth remedies along with that weird contraption that's supposed to make your butt bigger from AliExpress and apply liberally until you look like a Chewbacca shaped like Nicki Minaj with a dick that drags on the ground

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 23 points 11 months ago

Someone else can do that. I don't wanna end out in a The Fly style situation

[-] Bureaucrat@hexbear.net 17 points 11 months ago
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[-] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 17 points 11 months ago

let's see what happens

Blue ribbon winning eggplants, zucchinis, and cucumbers

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[-] kleeon@hexbear.net 25 points 11 months ago

why would you want penis that big?

[-] CantaloupeAss@hexbear.net 31 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Because:

  • young men are bombarded with internet pornography from childhood which idolizes and selects for enormous penises,
  • we as a culture embrace body-shaming tropes like "big/small dick energy",
  • people are more online and less IRL-social than ever and thus less likely to have affirming sexual or social experiences (e.g. seeing normal penises on other boys in a locker room),
  • and our society is still so puritanical and weird about sex that no young man is having a conversation with his parents about how to process all this information to maintain a positive body image,

so they conclude that in order to be a valid man they must have an enormous penis

[-] Yukiko@hexbear.net 22 points 11 months ago

Genuinely wish thought countering this would enter mainstream thought. I don’t want my partner to have a huge dick. I like to not feel like I’m being bisected at my vagina. I also don’t enjoy the feeling of someone bottoming out in me. Just learn how to treat women. Seriously.

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[-] Rom@hexbear.net 25 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

This was a plot in the Harley Quinn episode we watched last night. Bane took some magic elixir for a bigger schlong then fucked a bunch of buildings to death.

[-] someone@hexbear.net 16 points 11 months ago

then fucked a bunch of buildings to death.

Did they steal that bit idea from Oglaf? (NSFW) If so, that's actually impressive.

[-] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 24 points 11 months ago

Wait, do I become a wolf man, a bull man or just a regular bull with an enormous penis? Only one way to find out I guess.

[-] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 11 months ago

Please wolf please wolf please wolf

[-] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 24 points 11 months ago

this is the kind of content that I scroll for. a true masterpiece.

[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 23 points 11 months ago
[-] doublepepperoni@hexbear.net 21 points 11 months ago

"Too big to hold" sounds like a negative if the point is to enjoy sex with your enlarged hog

[-] queermunist@lemmy.ml 21 points 11 months ago

Penises aren't for sex, they're ornamental.

[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 14 points 11 months ago

Also reminds me of that X-Files with the genie

Guy wished for his dick to be so big he died when he got a stiffy because it took all the blood from the rest of his body

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[-] DavidGarcia@feddit.nl 23 points 11 months ago

why would I want such a significant reduction in length?

[-] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 22 points 11 months ago

This should be the next "I voted" sticker

[-] buh@hexbear.net 21 points 11 months ago

Inside you are two wolves 😳

[-] OprahsedCreature@lemmy.ml 16 points 11 months ago

Tbf I propositioned them. That's on me.

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[-] kristina@hexbear.net 18 points 11 months ago

This is the kinda thing that needs to be on billboards

[-] Heikki@lemm.ee 18 points 11 months ago

38cm = 14 96 inches. Does anyone want to volunteer and report back?

[-] DavidGarcia@feddit.nl 14 points 11 months ago

this should be an olympic sport

[-] Philosoraptor@hexbear.net 17 points 11 months ago

Am I getting minotaur dick or werewolf dick? That art is really sending mixed messages, and it seems like a significant distinction.

[-] smb@lemmy.ml 12 points 11 months ago

to see what you'll get, search aliexpress for "monster dildo" (btw results may be nsfw then) 😉

[-] doublepepperoni@hexbear.net 16 points 11 months ago

You don't even need to be searching for anything nsfw for AliExpress to suggest you crazy shit

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[-] john_browns_beard@hexbear.net 15 points 11 months ago

stonks-up 🍆🍆🍆

[-] Bureaucrat@hexbear.net 13 points 11 months ago

So uh... is there any actual way to enlarge beanis? Asking for an uhhh... another member of the jivemind

[-] Weedian@hexbear.net 21 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

look up the SWAG method, they shoot a bunch of filler into you benis.

...there was a trueanon episode about it ok. one of the funniest things I've ever heard is some guy got it done and when he had sex with his gf after she was like, "what did you do? why would you do that? I liked the way it was before!"

[-] Bureaucrat@hexbear.net 12 points 11 months ago

This has been noted for the beanis enjoyed of the hivemind

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[-] Bureaucrat@hexbear.net 15 points 11 months ago

Not something I've ever been concerned with but if you have weight to lose it can give the appearance of growth by reducing the pad of fat in the pelvic area.

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[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 12 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

AWOOO ENLARGE D O N G

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this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2024
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Chapotraphouse

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