I think it's valid either way. "I'm not attracted to men, thus I'm straight" is as valid as "tried it, didn't like it, thus I'm straight"

And works the other way around too, I imagine many people who define themselves gay have had romantic or sexual experiences with the opposite sex, but didn't like it.

I’ve read all of the comments, at this point, and absolutely no one is actually replying to the question OOP posed. It’s impossible to get a straight answer out of any of you.

Gay people often have straight sex when they are unsure about their sexuality. As society becomes less homophobic I'd expect more straight guys to experiment with other guys.

If a man does anything that's not approved by the strict regulation of the council of his male friends then they are gay. Its simple, there is no need to over complicate it by introducing sex.

I mean, you did a gay thing, but only to try it. I smoked pot a few times, didn't care for it. Don't smoke pot and haven't in years and years. I am not a pothead.

How you know this is legit: if he'd been talking about any dating app other than grindr step 6 would look like 'wait 6 weeks to get a match, get ghosted, get depressed, go to bed mumbling about 'who needs sex anyway?'.

As someone who has done a similar experiment (though only making out) I feel like this guy is gayer than myself because I don’t think I could stay turned on or motivated enough to fuck a dude effectively, even a very fem one.

That being said I feel like gay is supposed to mean “attracted to other men” not “not-overtly-repulsed by sex with another man”

There are asexual people who can and do still have sex because they aren’t sex repulsed. Those people are still asexuals, just like asexuals who are sex repulsed are asexuals.

It’s less about what you do and more about why you’re doing it that makes it gay. Are you attracted to other men? No? Then I guess it’s not necessarily gay.

If a man had sex with a woman, then proceeded to have copious amounts of sex with other men and never with a woman again, would you call him straight?

I mean, if you aren't certain you're really straight or gay, then why not try it? Just be honest about it.

If we've learned anything about human sexuality, it's that it isn't just a small collection of holes to peg into (heh). It's not even a slider between to extremes, really, but that's close enough for most things.

Some folks are juuuust far enough away from one end of the slider or the other that there may be situations or specific people where they aren't exclusively hetero or homo. But, it's also not something they'd ever know for sure without a chance to try it.

Hell, ngl, there were a few years there that I wondered.

You grow up back in the eighties, and you get fed this backside narrative that if you're straight, the gay stuff is just disgusting, and you'll hate even the idea of it, much less seeing it

Well, not me. I had gay friends as far back as jr high. And they were way cooler than the usual assholes.

Get into high school, and know a guy that can get fake IDs. I'm a big, hairy bastard by the time I can drive, so me and my gay bros (including a lesbian, but she was totally a bro in any realistic sense of that term) went to the city to a gay club to see a drag show. Which, a few years later, I ended up working as a bouncer there, but that's off topic.

So, I'm seeing dudes making out, there's a threesome going on in the bathroom at one point, there was a back hall where dudes would suck each other off, and I took a peek out of curiosity and got offered head.

But, wait, I'm not disgusted by any of it. I'm supposed to be; if you're straight, it just bothers you.

Obviously, that's bullshit, but I didn't know that.

But, I did know that I never encountered anyone that offered to do anything with me that I wanted to do anything with. Never ran into a dude I was at all attracted to.

So, I really did wonder if maybe I wasn't straight, just really picky or something. Never tried anything, though there was one person I thought maaaaybe it would work out. Back then, you had what were called cross dressers, as opposed to actual drag queens. They'd "serve real fish". And one of those gals was 100% a smoke show. But, by then, I was working there, and wouldn't have done anything if she offered.

So, time passed and I figured out that being disgusted by what other people do isn't something you're born with. It's learned, more or less. Which meant that it was a good thing I'd never tried it, I guess.

But, if someone wants to figure that kind of thing out by doing it? Rock on, as long as you aren't being underhanded about it. You know, don't make promises, don't lie, be up front about what your goal is.

Logical enough. I did nearly the same thing.

Hooked up with a couple. Was more attracted to the girlfriend even though boyfriend was more enthusiastic and attentive in bed.

I'm lesbian.

is good logic

Now you need to try bottoming to see if you don't like that. Maybe what you hate is being the top 🤷🏻‍♂️

This is logical and healthy imo. To be straight does not have to mean absolutely hating any sort of gay sex, just not being into it. I think that society makes as believe that straight means the absolute opposite of gay, when really all sexual preferences are one big spectrum and you can be a straight man who is willing to try gay things but not enjoying them.

An ex (casual) once told me about her ex that "He needed to suck enough dicks to realize that it wasn't for him." A little on the crass side, maybe, but she wasn't judging him for it and it's perfectly valid. We've only got one life to live and not experimenting with one's sexuality, if so inclined, is kinda silly.

fake and gay

I am straight, so i'd have to first have sex with a woman to figure out if i dont like it, THEN try with a dude to see if thats better.

If you think butt stuff is kinda stinky you should try an Essex lady.

Shit smells like a harbor at low tide.

Although... having a disappointing hookup with some rando doesn't sound not gay.

Stinky? Try again with a good bottom who does their prep work first.

If he kept his boot bands on then he’s still straight

Counter argument:

There are two vegetables, broccoli and carrots.

Some people have only eaten carrots and proclaimed themselves as carrot lovers.

Some people have only eaten broccoli and are broccoli lovers.

Some people have tried both and like both or like one or the other.

At least we can all agree topping a few times means you are way gayyer than bottoming any number of times