126

cum (hexbear.net)

submitted 2 years ago by hexaflexagonbear@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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cum

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[-] ProfessorOwl_PhD@hexbear.net 56 points 2 years ago

Corpse wankers coming to steal your precious fluids

[-] save_vs_death@hexbear.net 50 points 2 years ago

getting myself a do not jack off bracelet

[-] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 29 points 2 years ago

getting a Saw bomb collar strapped to my nuts so nobody can take my vital essence after I die

[-] GriffithDidNothingWrong@hexbear.net 10 points 2 years ago

rat-salute-2

[-] envis10n@hexbear.net 9 points 2 years ago

Jacket off

[-] hexaflexagonbear@hexbear.net 13 points 2 years ago

up-yours-woke-moralists

[-] Rom@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago

not even safe in death smh

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[-] mayo_cider@hexbear.net 45 points 2 years ago

"BRING BACK OUR CHILDREN NOW."

The most aggressive call to action for necrophilia I've heard in a while

[-] Flyberius@hexbear.net 40 points 2 years ago

His geneseed sounds weak anyway.

[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 33 points 2 years ago

No Secondary Heart

No Lyman's Ear

No Betcher's Gland

Not even worth harvesting his progenoids

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[-] hexaflexagonbear@hexbear.net 37 points 2 years ago

I feel like they should've collected the cum before the battle. But I'm no cumologist.

[-] Kuori@hexbear.net 36 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

"bring our children home so they can drop a fat load in their wives"

[-] hexaflexagonbear@hexbear.net 38 points 2 years ago

I think the children in question here might be the cum lol

[-] Kuori@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago

oh my god of course they are

i don't know if i'm really dim or that's just an incredible thing to think but the thought never even crossed my mind. i'd like to go back to the time before it did.

[-] SoyViking@hexbear.net 36 points 2 years ago

Jizzrael

[-] usernamesaredifficul@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago

full metal jack off

[-] envis10n@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago

Underrated comment

[-] Cysioland@lemmygrad.ml 11 points 2 years ago

It's something Stan Kelly would add in the corner of his comics

[-] ped_xing@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago

You just say kelly

[-] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 35 points 2 years ago

Ah yes, normal things said by normal people, and not people obsessed with ideas of ethnic supremacy.

[-] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 33 points 2 years ago

Begun the Cum Wars have

[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 20 points 2 years ago

You cannot beat off Sebulba, he never cums!

[-] AernaLingus@hexbear.net 32 points 2 years ago

volcel-kamala

[-] nurjahreszeiten@hexbear.net 26 points 2 years ago

Image having a father that was already dead when he jizzed u out bro 💀💀💀

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[-] PeludoPorFavor@hexbear.net 26 points 2 years ago

can someone explain a logic that is non-kink, non-eugenecist, non-supremacist? is there? like.... what

[-] Elon_Musk@hexbear.net 25 points 2 years ago

It has to do with preserving the blood line. It's a very Israel thing. https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2022-07-19/sperm-extraction-technique-turns-dead-men-into-fathers

[-] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 25 points 2 years ago

Sounds pretty eugenicist to me, but ok.

[-] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago

Being extremely charitable, some weird grief shit? IDK lol

[-] usernamesaredifficul@hexbear.net 23 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

just have soldiers produce a sperm sample before they go into combat. Wanking off corpses is weird

although if I interpret it correctly bring back our children now is a call to ceasefire

[-] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago

I truly do not get why you need cum-steal-team-6. Like that can not be more economical in any sense than just freezing sperm before set off, there must be some other motivation here and it escapes me entirely

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[-] nat_turner_overdrive@hexbear.net 23 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

every sperm is sacred

every sperm is great