The most propagandised people on earth (hexbear.net)

submitted 9 months ago by happybadger@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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[-] CommunistBear@hexbear.net 34 points 9 months ago

You have no idea how tempting it is to produce/repackage swill and market it aggressively to chuds. Just buy some mgp juice or some other bulk producer and spend most of your money on advertising. With toxic masculinity around the whiskey industry being what it is, if you manage to convince chuds that rotgut whiskey is actually good you will be flowing in cash. If I had the money to start my own facility I would do it in a heartbeat.

[-] Rom@hexbear.net 22 points 9 months ago

It's like how they sell anything to gamers by labeling it a 'gaming' device, adding a few rainbow LEDs, and upcharging by 500%. Same shit with chuds, slap some camo on it, market it for "macho manly alpha true Patriotic Americans™," throw an extra 0 on the price, and brrrrrrrrrrrr .

if you manage to convince chuds that rotgut whiskey is actually good you will be flowing in cash

"The woke mob HATES this whiskey. Don't let them cancel you, buy some today!"

[-] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 13 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Nobody has marketed booze with an RGB bottle to gamers as a confidence booster yet. Package it worth a 3 ounce shot glass engraved with the ballmer curve and watch the money roll in.

Accessory includes a single bottle chiller powered by USB.

[-] goose@hexbear.net 3 points 9 months ago

Anti-jitter SteadyAim technology

[-] BodyBySisyphus@hexbear.net 16 points 9 months ago

Deepfaking R Lee Ermey to say "good whiskey is supposed to taste like turpentine and if you don't like it that's because you're not MAN ENOUGH" and then watching the dollars roll in.

[-] Dr_Gabriel_Aby@hexbear.net 12 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Just name each bottle after a confederate general.

Robert E Lee Whiskey
Stonewall Jackson Scotch
JEB Stuart Gin-

[-] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 5 points 9 months ago

Also use the same whiskey but name the bottles after battles and cities the US won in the Civil War and WW2 and make them "collectible" so good patriots buy all of them.

[-] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Stonewall

This is actually pretty good name for a booze

[-] Dr_Gabriel_Aby@hexbear.net 2 points 9 months ago

Wow selling to Chuds but it’s actually Pride.

[-] carpoftruth@hexbear.net 10 points 9 months ago

A business idea that crossed my mind the other day was buying low/medium end olive oil and repackaging it with a cheeky label as "72 virgins" olive oil. Idk if this works better as chud antimuslim aesthetic or with ironic craft beer aesthetic but I'm pretty sure it would work

[-] FALGSConaut@hexbear.net 30 points 9 months ago

blend of straight whiskeys

I prefer gay whiskeys myself

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 25 points 9 months ago

https://heritagedistilling.com/products/special-operations-salute-army-sof-edition

$125

I can't find an actual review of it.

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 28 points 9 months ago

$125

And it's not even a single malt. Maybe it's effectively a $10 bottle.

Ninja edit: Maybe it's a $12.5 bottle and they multiplied that by ten.

[-] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 27 points 9 months ago

I made a blend of all the soda options at the fountain. Called it Uncle Sam's Tier 1 Operator Sniper Warrior Private Seal Reserve.

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 14 points 9 months ago

Uncle Sam's Tier 1 Operator Sniper Warrior Private Seal Reserve

How dare you.

Uncle Sam's Tier 1 Operator Sniper Warrior Private SEAL Reserve

[-] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 16 points 9 months ago

Bit idea: pretending to be a stolen valor guy who pronounces the T in "Green Beret."

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 13 points 9 months ago

Bro, bro, bro. Listen, listen. Are you a woman or French? It ain't shit without the hard t.

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 17 points 9 months ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r33kJLauaJ4

In one of the clearly paid reviews that have been uploaded in the past 10 days, 3/4 of the video is him verbally kissing troops on the lips. He then actually drinks a tiny sip and there are like half a dozen clear editing cuts for him to say "wow. this is good. wow. they didn't oversell that at all. they really know what they're doing."

It's like the enthusiasm I'd show a child's painting when it's clearly shit.

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 12 points 9 months ago

Somebody get this guy an Oscar

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r33kJLauaJ4&t=166s

[-] ColonelKataffy@hexbear.net 15 points 9 months ago

HE HAD TO CUT AND DO A RETAKE OF HIS FIRST SIP REACTION point-and-laugh-1

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 10 points 9 months ago

I appreciate that it's the only comment.

[-] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 11 points 9 months ago

I'm sort of amazed he doesn't have sockpuppet accounts. He's obviously a shill so why not?

[-] buh@hexbear.net 19 points 9 months ago

heritage

I bet this whiskey tastes like hearing someone shout the n word

[-] CommunistBear@hexbear.net 18 points 9 months ago

I can all but guarantee you they don't distill their own spirits and just bulk purchase from someone who actually does. The whiskey is more than likely "fine" because it'll taste like 80% of the whiskey on the market doing the same shit

[-] davel@hexbear.net 6 points 9 months ago

About Us | Born from Military Roots

[-] niph@hexbear.net 22 points 9 months ago

Ok but have you seen the special PLA reserve Maotai editions

[-] Tankiedesantski@hexbear.net 11 points 9 months ago

Until around the early 2010s, the PLA had a whole bunch of side businesses like hotels (I think I still have an 八一 8/1 branded PLA hotel comb somewhere) because the state budget was focused on domestic development and there was tacit permission for the PLA to have side gigs to supplement it budget. That changed with the first wave of modernization reforms. These are probably a lot more modern than that but Maotai is a state owned brand so at least the proceeds are making their way back to the PLA in some way, whereas the American Whiskey is just a cashgrab.