Nuh uh! Here's how he can truly win:
This is the actual Democratic party line
That's ridiculous, what he needs to do is:
Lift Vice President Harris into the air
While still in the air, VP Harris lifts Joe Biden
Fly
This is the DSA line
ah yes, bidenism with troll-physics tendencies
now we just need Kamala Harris to announce a cat-gravity-fed-rotational-axis-turbine energy farm
- Fly
How dare you.
For real though, I did think to myself last night “what one thing could Biden do to get my vote?”
The thing that crossed my mind would be if he completely lifted the blockade on Cuba. It would cost nothing and would be popular with the left but also with a lot of liberals (there are quite a few libs who are not down with communism but still think the blockade is cruel and should end). Biden’s gonna lose Florida anyway, might as well just do it.
But ultimately, there’s still the genocide, and that is unforgivable.
He'd have to stop the genocide, and then he'd have to do let's say...half of the things he promised he'd do. So far the only thing he accomplished was his promise that "nothing will fundamentally change" and that's just not good enough for me.
Small correction: he owes us all $2000 checks because that's what he said he'd send out. Also, the $2000 must be adjusted for inflation. In addition, it must be with compounded interest over four years.
Stop being a racist on immigration
I hate to say it but that might actually hurt his chances, at least with his actual base
I don't think his actual base really cares what he does. He could take a shit on their face and they would still vote for him because "well Trump would take TWO shits on my face and they'd be stinkier and have pieces of corn in them!"
Fair point.
But I do think there is a class of very offline, suburban, white upper middle class DNC voters who are actually more conservative than the online base of the party. They're pro-gay marriage and pro-life and don't care for the RNC's bullishness, but they are still very much normie white people and they've bought into a lot of the right's fear mongering about immigrants, drug legalization and homelessness, and they're pro-Israel. Not enough to go Republican but enough that they would be put off if Biden pandered to the left too much.
corn
How dare you. As if he'd actually consume tiny vegetables by choice.
The corn actually tracks because corn is a fruit technically
If Trump wins in November I'm going to go see how quickly I can get banned from r/politics by asking people if they voted for a stronger candidate in the primaries, and, in the extremely likely event that they didn't, asking them why they don't believe in the power of voting
mind also pointing out all the comunists where saying that Biden was the worst choice for the dem ticket, when they say he was the strongest?
Without putting the bar too high, I'm pretty sure he could earn back some support if he just stopped doing stuff at all. Just a complete acute mental collapse. He would be vastly preferrable to the opposition if he was simply not mentally capable of supporting anything anymore.
We're at the point where that cabbage that outlasted Liz Truss* would genuinely be materially better for people
If a cabbage was president, I'd worry that we'd just get the policies of whatever ghouls happen to be in the cabinet.
A grizzly bear, though,
wasn't it a lettuce outlasting Liz Truss?
Thanks for catching that comrade, edited; I constantly get my feckless politicians mixed up
If I were American I would vote for it.
Wait a cabbage is running, where to I sign up
If Joe Biden pisses and shids himself live on stage and forever after has no clue who he is or where he is I would vote for him. Because that would be fuckin hilarious.
That's exactly what I mean. That's not out of reach! You will never get a Biden that is suddenly a competent champion of the working class, but a Biden that has no idea where he is and is mentally unfit to sign any document is certainly not impossible.
Here's how Biden can still win: 
There's gonna be a bloodbath on 5th Ave, Jack!
Ackshually he did propose a law that would forgive 0,0000000001% of everyone's student loan who has worked exactly 37 minutes and 28 seconds on the 10 mile vicinity of a GM factory in the last seven thursdays that people in the committee used to wipe their asses with so you are just ignorant when you say he's not really doing anything.
Oh shid oh fuck you're right, that totally outweighs literal genocide. The Russian Propaganda Machine got me again.
I'll be real with you, all that still wouldn't be enough
The party could personally bribe me and that wouldn't get me to vote for Genocide Joe, what's been done can't be undone
If he set himself on fire I’d at least consider it
Actually yeah, that might persuade me for real.
If he completely dismantled the genocidal settler colonial state of "Israel", I'd vote for him. Anything less? Nah.
Doesn't he owe you all Americans $2000, not 600?
He said $2000 then only gave us $1400.
Look I'm not counting it unless I get the 2000 in one lump sum and that better be adjusted for inflation and include interest
Wait do we all get to determine our own intrest rates? I am going to say 300% intrest compounding weekly
He gave us some of it. At least he gave me some of it. He still owes me the rest.
Here's how Biden can still win
Put on a Bernie mask? Oh, wait...
I had someone eariler tell me that Biden should win because he was on a picket line, when I brought up he strike broke they said my standards where too high
I'm already looking forward to the Citations Needed live cast on election night this year 
Actually fight for labor rather than strikebreak
I don't have the desire or time to investigate, but it's my understanding that under Biden the NLRB has been surprisingly based. The fact they're being sued by SpaceX and Trader Joe's is probably a good sign.
If Biden cared to win this election, he could be promoting the positive actions the NLRB has taken, distance himself from his strike breaking activities regarding the railroad workers union, and live up to his promise of being a pro-labor president.
But, he won't.
Edit: stopping the ongoing genocide would also help.
Biden stopped the rail workers from going on strike though because "it would be bad for the economy." I mean yeah the NLRB hasn't been awful under Biden, but Biden is not pro labor. He just doesn't really care what happens to labor either way.
My point is he has some goodwill built up, despite himself, thanks to the NLRB.
If he cared about winning he could capitalize on that.
He won't. So it's all a moot point.
He did break the railroad strike, though, drawing a very clear line on how far he's willing to fight for labor.
Somewhere in an alternate universe there's a Joe Biden who actually cares about labor.
But, as we have seen over and over again, this is the worst timeline.
A comrade of mine has been involved in an NLRB case recently, where they had incontrovertible proof they were illegally fired for union activity, and the NLRB has essentially been working with their former employer to minimize the amount of money they would be paid when the employers' argument is "well we fired that whole team for attempting to unionize so we would have fired you the next quarter anyway"
I mean, maybe the case wouldn't have even been taken up under a Trump NLRB, but this has been almost worse.
I give Biden 0 labor points after he signed a law that broke the Rail Strike by giving the workers none of what they where asking for. He cannot recover any labor points after that
Weed
Still waiting on that cure for cancer.
Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.
No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer
Vaush posts go in the_dunk_tank
Dunk posts in general go in the_dunk_tank, not here
Don't post low-hanging fruit here after it gets removed from the_dunk_tank