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NEW JOB! (lemmy.world)
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[-] yiliu@informis.land 77 points 1 year ago

Hi Tom,

I was just taking a look at your resume, and your experience at Deceased really caught my eye! I'm especially interested in your knowledge of being missed by friends and family. Did you know that complications from heart surgery is in high demand right now?

I'm a head hunter looking for dynamic individuals who are interested in positions at an exciting new startup, and I think you'd be a perfect fit!

I hope we get a chance to chat soon!

[-] AlecSadler@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 year ago

Turns out to be an insurance phone salesperson job 9/10.

[-] FozzyOsbourne@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

A head hunter is how he got this job in the first place!

[-] Rascabin@lemmy.ml 56 points 1 year ago

Dang. Even he got a new job. My "not selected for the position" emails are at 376 currently.

[-] Anamana@feddit.de 26 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The new normal. You're lucky if an actual person reads your application nowadays.

[-] Sharkwellington@lemmy.one 11 points 1 year ago

I'm so exhausted. Just shoveling resumes into the void.

[-] jaybone@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

2019 - Present

Professional Resume Void Shoveler

[-] TexMexBazooka@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

Think of resumes like SEO. You just gotta have the right key words- best way is to pull the text from the job desc of what you’re applying to

[-] notoftenthat@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago

I liked feeding the details to https://www.jobscan.co/ when I was displaced ~`2016.

The unfortunate truth is that you need an inside contact for many of the roles.

[-] frickineh@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

I'm starting a job search today and dreading it. There are only like 5 positions open right now that fit with my skills and also pay even close to a livable amount of money, so that's not great. Deceased sounds like a great opportunity at this point - no commute and you don't need a living wage if you're not living.

[-] slingstone@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Nah, dude. Just wait until the deceased field gets oversaturated. All the hordes of people wandering pointlessly, everybody trampling over everyone else trying to eat the organs of the living...it's a dead end job that'll get worse with time.

[-] Sotuanduso@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago

You get those emails? Nice.

[-] misterundercoat@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

(Gets a job by knowing someone) I can explain!

You didn't have to interview? I had to go to through three interviews!

I'd love to get an interview. All I get are rejection emails.

You guys are getting responses?

[-] foofiepie@lemmy.world 53 points 1 year ago

Oh wow this is real.

Nice, someone congratulated him in the comments. 😂

[-] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 24 points 1 year ago

My retirement plans be like:

[-] ODuffer@lemmy.world 40 points 1 year ago

Dead end job

[-] FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io 33 points 1 year ago

This man has won capitalism

[-] Blackout@kbin.run 31 points 1 year ago

I'm gonna lie and put deceased on my resume too. They never check.

[-] errer@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago

Great profession, perfect 0/0 work/life balance.

[-] therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip 21 points 1 year ago
[-] SlopppyEngineer@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago

Working in the cloud

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Literally the opposite. Unless he goes with cremation rather than burial, of course.

[-] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago
[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

If you have a trebuchet or cannon or something to launch the urn or casket with, sure 🤷

[-] slingstone@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I mean, a rocket will get you past the sky, so...

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Depends whether or not you define outer space as part of "the sky". As a Browncoat, I say it is, adding that you can't take it from me 😉

[-] slingstone@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago
[-] simplejack@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago
[-] BestBouclettes@jlai.lu 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Talk about job security

[-] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

It's always hard to see others living your dreams.

[-] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 6 points 1 year ago

Guaranteed this guy talked about how no one wants to work anymore, or provided 'insights' on leadership/project management

[-] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 34 points 1 year ago

IDK why I’m sticking up for a dead stranger this early but… is this kinda unfair cuz it’s just ageism? Dude might’ve been a saint or Hitler. (No, nothing in between!)

If you’re good at reading faces I have to take back the ageism accusation :)

[-] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago
[-] Fleur__@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I'm currently looking for work at the cemetery as a deceased person hmu if you know anyone hiring

[-] jaybone@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago
[-] nexguy@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

New CEO and intern and janitor at None

[-] user1234@lemmynsfw.com 4 points 1 year ago

Nobody anymore

this post was submitted on 27 Apr 2024
707 points (98.8% liked)

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