828
submitted 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) by sag@lemm.ee to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

I am supportive of you being Canadian

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[-] owenfromcanada@lemmy.world 107 points 3 weeks ago

"What's your gender?"

"Canadian."

"No, who do you like?"

"Donuts."

"No no, what's in your pants?"

"Polite manners."

[-] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 46 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

"No, no, I'm talking about your genitals."

"Oh, you mean Tim Horton's?"

[-] JimVanDeventer@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

Fun fact: timbits were named so in honour of his fatal drunk driving car accident.

[-] Sparky@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 3 weeks ago

"what's in your pants?"

"a party you're not invited to"

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

"a hockey knife"

[-] andshit@lemmy.world 17 points 3 weeks ago

Doughnuts**

[-] CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 weeks ago

As a Canadian, I know you are American from your spelling of doughnuts.

[-] owenfromcanada@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

Surprise, I'm both!

[-] phx@lemmy.ca 2 points 3 weeks ago
[-] GrymEdm@lemmy.world 49 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

We are sorry to hear you are disappointed with the Canadian gender identity. Please hold if you wish to express your concerns to one of our agents. Alternatively, courses on the benefits and challenges of being Canadian and what it means to be hockeysexual are available in English and French. Completion of the course grants access to free-but-slow healthcare and a $25 Tim Hortons gift card.

[-] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 3 weeks ago

Please hold if you wish to express your disappointment to one of our agents.

I just want to say replacing fig leaves with maple leaves is rough because it leaves a bunch of sticky on your junk.

[-] SurfinBird@lemmy.ca 16 points 3 weeks ago

Maple syrup on your junk is a proud Canadian Thanksgiving tradition.

[-] CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 weeks ago

I was sick and family was busy. So I missed thanksgiving this year.

[-] rbesfe@lemmy.ca 12 points 3 weeks ago

pour le service en français, appuyez sur le 2

[-] raynethackery@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

Why isn't the first option?

[-] muyessir@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago
[-] connaisseur@lemmy.ca 14 points 3 weeks ago

Huge missed opportunity: could have been God made Adam and Eve, not Maple and Leaf

[-] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 3 weeks ago

There is no such thing as 'Canadian', it's just a phase!

[-] Moose@moose.best 12 points 3 weeks ago

Pretty sure he did say Adam and Moose.

[-] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 6 points 3 weeks ago

Hey, Adam; watch me pull a rabbit outta my hat!

[-] capt_wolf@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I think he said moose and squirrel!

[-] letsgo@lemm.ee 4 points 3 weeks ago

Naah, Moose came later, he was the chap who came down from a mountain with a couple of iPads, then drove out of the desert in a Triumph, or something like that.

The Book of Mormon is a wild ride.

[-] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 weeks ago

No spoilers please!

[-] raynethackery@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

Wasn't she on YCDTOTV?

[-] militaryintelligence@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago

My pronouns are Canadian/Eh

[-] AFC1886VCC@reddthat.com 10 points 3 weeks ago

LGBTQIAC

Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Queer Intersex Asexual Canadian

[-] monsterpiece42@reddthat.com 10 points 3 weeks ago

I'm guessing this is not a required demographic question in Canada.

[-] micka190@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

Might be a case where Canadian applicants submit another form that has the relevant information in a different format too.

[-] ZeffSyde@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I called out a form and one of the options was for diet. The choices were:

Omnivore, Vegetarian, Vogon.

[-] Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

those scintillating, jeweled, scuttling crabs are good though.

[-] watersnipje@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Just don’t allow them to recite poetry at you

[-] 21Cabbage@lemmynsfw.com 7 points 3 weeks ago

One assumes it's either customary or law not to ask if it's not relevant.

[-] ekZepp@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago
[-] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

I'm an American. I actually like America, for what it's worth. Canada, however, has the superior anthem.

[-] jaybone@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

Is this Windows95?

[-] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 weeks ago

Our country reeks of trees / our Yaks are really large

[-] not_woody_shaw@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

And they smell like rotting beefcarcasses.

[-] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Probably just a cut and paste error, still funny.

this post was submitted on 02 Nov 2024
828 points (99.1% liked)

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