There it is. That should have been the post title.

A joke from Kingdom of Loathing.

I think the extra annoyance is counteracted by the gains in customizability IMO

Where else are you going to be able to get Peach Sprite or Vanilla Fanta?

The only reason why I like them is because I can cherry all the things. Cherry Coke, Cherry Sprite, Cherry root beer... You get the idea.

(I also like that cherry lime drink that several restaurants advertise under different names as their "exclusive" beverage. On the top of my head I know that Jack in the Box and Firehouse Subs both have it, with their own branding slapped on the name.)

I like them, but I'm always behind someone who looks like they've never used technology more advanced than a telegraph before

Yeah, we had two of these replace the old school style drink stations at the hospital I work at. They had to bring back one of the old machines because the new machines were causing so much congestion in the cafeteria. Pretty sure the hardware in these predate blackberrys, they take forever to recognize any input from the screen.

Plus if you are just trying to get water, it gets slightly contaminated from whatever beverage the last person got. Especially if it's blue powerade for some reason.

There’s also a QR code you can scan to control it via your phone. I’m sure no one has exploited that.

I use my semi erect pinky to push it just to be safe.

If breathing and eating don't get separate holes, piss and cum certainly aren't getting that luxury

water man

You can use the term "Aqua Man" to sound fancier.

And the water always tastes like shit out of these because they don't clean the tip. On the old style it was always sharing lemonade or Powerade and you could just run the line for a second or two to clear it

Water fucking rules, man.

It gets worse. They hired hitmen to kill trade union leaders in Colombia.

You don't have that? Where are you?

It's the omni-genital.

I feel like the context of "the opposite of 1 hole per beverage" gives a good vague explanation. Another is "how I pictured women's anatomy before I took a health class."

You do not.

I am afraid your out of luck either way.