126

cum (hexbear.net)

submitted 11 months ago by hexaflexagonbear@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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cum

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[-] ProfessorOwl_PhD@hexbear.net 56 points 11 months ago

Corpse wankers coming to steal your precious fluids

[-] save_vs_death@hexbear.net 50 points 11 months ago

getting myself a do not jack off bracelet

[-] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 29 points 11 months ago

getting a Saw bomb collar strapped to my nuts so nobody can take my vital essence after I die

[-] GriffithDidNothingWrong@hexbear.net 10 points 11 months ago

rat-salute-2

[-] envis10n@hexbear.net 9 points 11 months ago

Jacket off

[-] hexaflexagonbear@hexbear.net 13 points 11 months ago

up-yours-woke-moralists

[-] Rom@hexbear.net 7 points 11 months ago

not even safe in death smh

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[-] mayo_cider@hexbear.net 45 points 11 months ago

"BRING BACK OUR CHILDREN NOW."

The most aggressive call to action for necrophilia I've heard in a while

[-] Flyberius@hexbear.net 40 points 11 months ago

His geneseed sounds weak anyway.

[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 33 points 11 months ago

No Secondary Heart

No Lyman's Ear

No Betcher's Gland

Not even worth harvesting his progenoids

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[-] hexaflexagonbear@hexbear.net 37 points 11 months ago

I feel like they should've collected the cum before the battle. But I'm no cumologist.

[-] Kuori@hexbear.net 36 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

"bring our children home so they can drop a fat load in their wives"

[-] hexaflexagonbear@hexbear.net 38 points 11 months ago

I think the children in question here might be the cum lol

[-] Kuori@hexbear.net 16 points 11 months ago

oh my god of course they are

i don't know if i'm really dim or that's just an incredible thing to think but the thought never even crossed my mind. i'd like to go back to the time before it did.

[-] SoyViking@hexbear.net 36 points 11 months ago

Jizzrael

[-] usernamesaredifficul@hexbear.net 12 points 11 months ago

full metal jack off

[-] envis10n@hexbear.net 7 points 11 months ago

Underrated comment

[-] Cysioland@lemmygrad.ml 11 points 11 months ago

It's something Stan Kelly would add in the corner of his comics

[-] ped_xing@hexbear.net 6 points 11 months ago

You just say kelly

[-] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 35 points 11 months ago

Ah yes, normal things said by normal people, and not people obsessed with ideas of ethnic supremacy.

[-] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 33 points 11 months ago

Begun the Cum Wars have

[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 20 points 11 months ago

You cannot beat off Sebulba, he never cums!

[-] AernaLingus@hexbear.net 32 points 11 months ago

volcel-kamala

[-] nurjahreszeiten@hexbear.net 26 points 11 months ago

Image having a father that was already dead when he jizzed u out bro 💀💀💀

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[-] PeludoPorFavor@hexbear.net 26 points 11 months ago

can someone explain a logic that is non-kink, non-eugenecist, non-supremacist? is there? like.... what

[-] Elon_Musk@hexbear.net 25 points 11 months ago

It has to do with preserving the blood line. It's a very Israel thing. https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2022-07-19/sperm-extraction-technique-turns-dead-men-into-fathers

[-] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 25 points 11 months ago

Sounds pretty eugenicist to me, but ok.

[-] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 14 points 11 months ago

Being extremely charitable, some weird grief shit? IDK lol

[-] usernamesaredifficul@hexbear.net 23 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

just have soldiers produce a sperm sample before they go into combat. Wanking off corpses is weird

although if I interpret it correctly bring back our children now is a call to ceasefire

[-] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 6 points 11 months ago

I truly do not get why you need cum-steal-team-6. Like that can not be more economical in any sense than just freezing sperm before set off, there must be some other motivation here and it escapes me entirely

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[-] nat_turner_overdrive@hexbear.net 23 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

every sperm is sacred

every sperm is great