4
all 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] BroBot9000@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Pink and I would dedicate the rest of my life to making Elon Musk shit himself literally every time a camera is pointed at him.

[-] Alteon@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Yeah. I got the magenta one years ago. I've been making Trump drop a fucking load on camera for awhile now.

[-] BigBenis@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Assuming I could force somebody to poop on command with little effort beyond sheer willpower, I would absolutely take it upon myself to dish out petty justice with that power.

I see you being rude to people working in a service job? You get poopy pants.

I see you playing music on your phone or otherwise being obnoxious on the bus or some other public space? You get poopy pants.

Are you driving like an asshole? Following too closely? Cutting people off? Honking the moment the light turns green? Words can't express the satisfaction I will feel in knowing that you're now sitting in your car with the poopiest of pants my power could possibly muster.

[-] GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 months ago

I would immediately try to weaponize it. Spend a weekend making putin telepathically shit his brains out without pause should probably be enough to make him die from the sheer loss of matter and nutrients.

[-] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 months ago

Who tf is choosing anything but pink?!?

[-] boonhet@lemm.ee 0 points 2 months ago

I mean the weed gummy isn't that bad

But of the rest, pink is the only one that does anything fun. And it could technically be useful. If you need to distract someone during a heist, for an example.

[-] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 months ago

Also you'd be immune to constipation.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Jeez. All you mean people.

I'd take the pink pill and help people with intestinal blockages and stuff.

[-] Phoenicianpirate@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago

Why not both? Help the constipated AND make the world's worst people shit themselves on live TV...

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

I'm just saying, no one's talking about how you could help people with this too.

[-] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 0 points 2 months ago

I don't know anyone that needs help popping. I know many people who I'd like to make shit themselves.

[-] Phoenicianpirate@lemm.ee 0 points 2 months ago

But what are the rules? Is it like death note where you need their name and be thinking of their face? Or is it "Hey, that 3rd grade math teacher who gave me a hard time. What's her name? Forgot how she looks, too... she shits herself now!" Type of thing.

[-] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 1 points 2 months ago

Just have to test it out and figure out how it works I suppose.

[-] Kitathalla@lemy.lol 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

That's the best answer.

spoilerI feel you've got a good personal reason behind it that most don't. I haven't seen anything from you about your health recently, so I hope you're doing great, and that the move to the UK goes swell!

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

spoilerVery slow improvements on the health front and I hope so too, thank you!

[-] prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago

Sidebar:

I can only assume Ms. Squid has finished your sweater…

What’s the status on my Penguin sweater?

No rush, of course 😅

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

She has not! I was hoping it would be my Christmas present.

[-] prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago

… I mean it still might be your Christmas present, just this year

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

She's not that slow. She just switches between projects.

[-] Ziglin@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Just came here to say that this thread is lovely and I totally understand having a bunch of projects going at the same time. I hope ms Squid finds the time, that sweater sounds cute.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

She was working on the first sleeve last night, which means there's not long to go. I'm excited!

[-] Cornelius_Wangenheim@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

There's not a few people you'd want to shit themselves to death? Not even Putin?

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] toxic_cloud@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Do they have to have poop in them or does it spawn some inside them? That's necessary information.

[-] Quadhammer@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

Spawns inside of them. Makes them shit even more and harder tbh

[-] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Why would anyone choose anything but the magenta one?

[-] Ziglin@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

If blue is not already the case (I would question how they became your crush) that seems like a good option. Otherwise pink is the only useful one.

[-] nifty@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

Because you have the soul of a puppy and you can’t imagine harming another?

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Screw that! I wanna make boom boom in others pants!

[-] bruhduh@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago
[-] NewAgeOldPerson@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Gold made me think of this forgotten greentext.

[-] Seigest@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 months ago

The older you get the more your going to want that poop command to use on yourself.

[-] Johnmannesca@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

Sorry, it's kinda like a presidential pardon.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] _stranger_@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

I like that it's "Forced". If it was just "make people shit themselves", it would just happen and then they'd wonder what's going on But Forced implies they're fighting it, it implies resistance. That's kinda messed up.

[-] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Well, I just made up my mind.

[-] BoxOfFeet@lemmy.world 0 points 1 month ago

I hope you have to point at the person for it to work, so they know it's you.

[-] Schadrach@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 1 month ago

I was just assuming it was just Power Word: Shit and would effect anyone up to however many hit dice.

[-] Zementid@feddit.nl 0 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

How does that work... spoken command? Is there a cool down on you/the victim? Can it be recorded/broadcasted? Does it has to be consciously be heard and understood or is it like the brown Note from Southpark?

Based on this, that power varies from nice/annoying trick to weapon of mass defecation.

[-] nichtburningturtle@feddit.org 0 points 2 months ago

I reckon it works like a power word.

[-] dumbass@leminal.space 0 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Pink, you can control any situation with that.

You got some dude coming to attack you with a knife? Point finger guns at him and say "Poop", they poop instantly stopping them in their tracks, confusing the ever loving fuck out of them... Then you do it again while they stare at you, slowly working out it's you doing this.

You walk up to them as they slowly try to retreat from you, you hit them one more time and walk off into the distance, leaving him to try to get home without anyone noticing he pooped his pants, because who's gonna believe him?

[-] ArgentRaven@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

He tries to run, but you slow-walk towards him, chanting "poop!" with every step. His pants are heavy, and blood starts to show through his jeans. "I'll cut your guts out!" he helplessly bluffs. Soon, he crumples up and screams as his guts start emptying into the street; his denim is no longer able to hold the carnage. You see him lying dead at your feet.

You turn back towards the United Healthcare headquarters, and resume your march.

Now, it is finally time to see at what point explosive diarrhea is covered...

this post was submitted on 02 Jan 2025
4 points (100.0% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

28634 readers
2022 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS